Here’s what happens when you stop trying so hard and just let go

All of us try so hard to figure things out.

We often ask these questions and go out in search for the answers.

• What is my life purpose?
• How can I be better? More successful?
• How can I attract more abundance?
• How can I be more smart, more beautiful, more charismatic?

And the list goes on…

I would always put this pressure on myself to “be more” and “have more” and “do more.”

But no matter what I did and how much I achieved, I would never be satisfied or be happy with myself.

On the outside, it looked like I had it all figured out and was having a great life!

But no matter how much I achieved I was never able to say to myself,

“I am proud of you! You did so well!”

THE VOID

There was always something “missing”, something “lacking” and so I would always over-compensate this void that I felt through “more.”

I would count all the things I accomplished in a month and make a new list of goals to be achieved for the next month.

Not moving forward felt paralyzing. I would not allow myself to relax and just enjoy a day or two to have fun.

It felt that my life would have no meaning unless I was accomplishing everything I had set out to accomplish.

I was just reduced to someone who would only describe herself as her career and achievements and not as someone who was “living life.”

In spite of the good results that my hard work brought me, I would still have sleepless nights and depressing days.

I always asked myself questions like:

• Am I living my life on purpose?
• What more should I do?
• Am I on the right path?

I would read books on self-help, listen to podcasts and learn everything that I could get my hands on.

And yet I always felt lost, alone and purposeless.

I always fell short in my own mind, something was always missing.

I spend months thinking and figuring everything out in anticipating that maybe my intuition would talk to me or maybe I would have an “Aha moment” or maybe meditation would give me some comfort.

Guess what? Nothing came up. Nothing changed. I was in the same place with the same questions…UNANSWERED.

The only thing that was changing drastically was that I was feeling more lost, more tired and more disconnected from myself.

I forgot the joy, the freedom, the happiness and the connection with life.

I was becoming worse instead of better!

I was more sad, more dissatisfied, more lonely and more unmotivated.

My Decision

So I made a decision! Finally, I had this clarity on what it is that I want to do!!

And so I declared this out loud to myself:

I am tired of being better, doing more, accumulating more and controlling my life!

As absurd as it may sound, it truly was my pathway to freedom!

I didn’t want to force or manipulate myself or my life.

I knew clearly that I don’t want to do this to myself anymore. I don’t want to push so hard and try so hard.

• It is true that I don’t know exactly what I want in life.
• I don’t know where I will be or what I will be doing in the next 5 years.
• I don’t know the purpose of my life.
• I don’t know the answers to the big questions or for that matter the small ones.
• I don’t know where I am headed.

But I do know that I do not want to suffer like this.

THE CHANGE

I made peace with “not knowing.”

I accepted myself just the way I am and accepted my life just the way it is.

I let go. Finally, I “allowed” myself to let go and relax.

I started appreciating myself more even if I did not do very well on some days.

I finally saw myself more than my accomplishments, achievements, and career.

It was a breath of fresh air. It felt as if I had new eyes now.

My self-worth and self-esteem no longer came from the outside world.

The ‘ME’ NOW

I am OK with not controlling outcomes, not controlling my moods or any other circumstances.

I am peaceful and satisfied even if things don’t go as planned.

I am really flowing with life now. I am more happy, more satisfied and more peaceful.

It’s like after letting go of trying so hard to be better — I am unfolding into the best version of myself effortlessly.

Lessons Learned

The most important lesson I learned through my frustration, loneliness, and depression was that:

• I do not need to have answers to all questions.
• All I need to do is enjoy myself.
• I need not try so hard to get to where I want to be.
• I am perfect and complete just the way I am.
• It doesn’t take a lot to be truly satisfied and happy.
• Even if I accomplished my deepest desire I won’t be happy and fulfilled unless I enjoy the process of life.
• There is no one correct answer in life and no one right path.
• It is OK to change your goals or sometimes to let go of what you felt would make you happy.
• My life works at its best when I get out of the way.
• Life is much more than the to-do list, the goal setting and the accomplishing and chasing.

To anyone out there who feels stuck or is working hard, relax and just let go. Life really takes care of itself.

Don’t try so hard and don’t be so hard on yourself. It is OK to take some time off and just have fun.

Lots of Love,

Deepika❤