High self-expectations might be affecting your life negatively

We all have some expectations of ourselves.

We want to live a good life, have a good career, and have loving caring relationships. We want to be good people and contribute to society.

Right?

But that is not “good enough” in our society today!

You need to have at least 2 businesses making 6 figures, while also having a loving family and you also need to go on expensive vacations at least twice a year. Not only that but you also need to work on your fitness and health and slay that dress or flex that expensive suit that you saw is trending on social media.

Now, that is a good life, right?

In the past few years, the definition of success, growth, and satisfaction has changed drastically.

With so many people living the “best life” on social media, you can’t help but wonder what you are doing with your life.

And that is the beginning of unrealistic high expectations we put on ourselves.

Whether it is financial success, self-improvement, spirituality, or health we are bombarded with information about what is the standard of success, and if we do not fulfill the criteria we don't feel good enough about ourselves.

This takes me to the next point, that expectations are defined by society and not by us.

Let’s explore how these expectations can affect our lives:

1. You lose your true self

Each one of us is unique and is gifted with beautiful talents that we can use to improve our lives and the lives of others around us.

But if we believe in what our society and culture expect from us, we self-sabotage our unique talents and abilities. Often, we don’t allow our hobbies and interests to blossom. We start believing that it is a waste of time and that we need to focus on getting a “real job”.

2. We are never satisfied

Are these things really better than the things I already have? Or am I trained to be dissatisfied with what I have now?

Chuck Palahniuk

The biggest downside of expectations is that we may start believing that we are never good enough.

If we are not on the top of our game, or we are not living the good life we quickly assume that we are a “failure”.

Life becomes a cycle of gaining, earning and accumulating more and more.

We forget to notice and enjoy things that bring us joy, happiness, and peace.

We lose sight of what truly matters to us.

3. We become perfectionists

Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order

Anne Wilson Schaef

If you are someone who is a perfectionist it is very likely that you are your own worse self-critic.

With people posting the perfect photos and advertisements constantly telling us to be a certain way and to have certain things to feel successful, beautiful and so on it is natural to feel that you need to be perfect in whatever you are doing.

This can often lead to a very strict and rigid way of being and thinking and you may never choose to explore what other wonderful things life may have in store for you.

4. The never-ending chase

Society has already defined what success, happiness, and fulfillment are for us. The only way to be acknowledged and seen is by getting a certain job, making a certain salary, and being in a certain shape.

Unfortunately, this forces us to chase after the things that we never even wanted for ourselves in the first place. Naturally, we feel unhappy, stressed, and depressed because our expectations and our desires are not “ours” to begin with.

While it is very useful to have expectations to reach our goals, we need to remember to be kind to ourselves and embrace all parts of us including our failures and mistakes to be able to create a balanced and healthy life. ❤

With Love,

Deepika❤