How to change your SELF-TALK

All of us have created a story in our minds that we keep repeating every single day and often it is negative.

In this article, I would like to talk about “self-talk”- your inner dialogue.

Take a deep breath. Pause.

What were you thinking of right now?

Was that thought positive or negative?

The first thing you need to do if you want to change your inner dialogue is to pause and become aware of what goes on in your mind.

What stories are you telling yourself each and every day?

What are you thinking about first thing in the morning?

What are your thoughts before you go to bed?

1. Repetition

The first thing you will notice is that you keep repeating the same stories in your head almost every single day.

Maybe you keep on thinking about someone who hurt you in the past or about how you are not good enough.

The way we talk to ourselves dictates how we show up in the outside world.

If you keep on telling yourself that “You are not good enough”. Naturally, you will lack confidence and might give up on opportunities that come your way because you feel you are not capable of doing your job.

2. Becoming aware

I monitor my self-talk, making sure that it is uplifting and supportive of myself and others.

Louise Hay

As you can see from the above example, our inner dialogue has a huge impact on how we show up but it also affects our day-to-day decisions.

You might not realize it but because you believe that you are not deserving, you might be unconsciously self-sabotaging yourself.

3. See the pattern

The experiences that we have throughout our lives have an effect on how we treat ourselves.

If you have ever been complimented for your smile, I am sure you smile more and feel confident. But let's say if you have been criticized for how you look, you might not feel confident about your appearance and maybe feel uncomfortable in your own body.

Going back in time and seeing which incident or happening might have caused a negative belief might help you to release it faster as you will soon realize that what you have been believing for so many years is just someone else’s opinion and nothing more.

4. Release

Now that we know that most of our thoughts and beliefs that we keep playing in our heads are a result of what someone did or told us it is easy for us to release them as they were never ours, to begin with.

Please be kind and patient with yourself as it may take some time for you to let go as it may not always be easy to look at the pain and hurts that we have been holding on to for so many years.

One of the most effective ways to release negative beliefs is to first become aware of them and then turn them around. Find as much evidence as you can that says otherwise. Train yourself to see yourself in a different light.

For example, if you feel that you are not good enough make a conscious decision to release the thought. Write down all the things that you did right each day and soon you will realize that you are capable and more than good enough!

5. Taking Control

As adults, it is our responsibility to treat ourselves with respect and love and I believe that the first step in doing that is to support ourselves just like we would support a friend.

We would not criticize or judge our friends if they were going through a rough patch in their life instead we would lovingly give them advice and comfort them and make sure that we are there for them.

But when it comes to us, we either blame ourselves, criticize or say really mean things about ourselves.

It is each one of our responsibility to treat ourselves with love, respect, and understanding and to appreciate and celebrate ourselves every single day!

Today, make a commitment to yourself that you will treat yourself with love, respect, kindness, and understanding that you will be always there for yourself.

With love,

Deepika ❤