Is self-improvement really improving anything?

Improve your grades.

Improve your skills.

Improve your health.

Improve your relationships.

And on and on it goes…

Just a little disclaimer. I am not against self-improvement. I believe it is a great way of building self-awareness and getting better results in all areas.

Here, I wish to touch on when self-improvement gets out of balance and affects you negatively.

Why am I talking about this, you ask?

Because I have experienced it myself and have seen how it negatively affected all areas of my life that were “supposed” to have shown some improvement.

We live in a culture that is obsessed with results and is constantly measuring and comparing things and coming up with statistics for literally everything.

1. Comparison

Once you get into the self-help and self-improvement culture you start comparing yourself with your yesterday self which is great for a while but it quickly becomes frustrating when you don’t see the results that you expected to see.

Have you started feeling that you are not good enough?

Is self-comparison making you feel worse about yourself?

Are you criticizing yourself about everything that you do and have done?

2. Self-Judgement

Every book these days talks about being positive and happy and it isn’t always possible for us to be positive and happy.

Do you judge yourself for not being positive enough?

Do you judge yourself if you skip that Yoga class?

Do you feel guilty if you take time off for yourself?

It is when we take things to the extreme and expect too much from ourselves that things start getting worse than better.

3. Result-oriented

Have you become result-oriented?

Do you only care about the numbers than your overall health (physical, mental and emotional)?

Do you never feel satisfied with how far you have come?

Many of us believe that self-improvement means getting the results. Achieving all the goals that we wish to accomplish.

But this way of thinking and being can affect our physical and mental health.

4. Changing our focus

“When you change the way look at things the things you look at change.”

-Wayne Dyer

What if we choose to be content, happy, and satisfied with whatever we have and accomplished in our lives?

How about we acknowledge and accept ourselves fully and make peace with our flaws and improve our innate talents and abilities?

What if instead of blindly following “success” we would define what success means to us?

I used to believe that the more that I have and achieve, the more successful I am and I chased after it for a while only to realize that it doesn’t make me happy.

How about we take some time out to appreciate and be grateful for all the things that we take for granted?

Self-improvement sometimes makes us have unrealistic standards and expectations of how our lives should look like which are affected by social media, advertisements etc.

Please remember that you are unique the way you are and it is important to love and appreciate yourself and not just improve yourself.

Maybe, our relationships, our lives, and ourselves don’t need to be improved but need acceptance, appreciation, and love.

With Love,

Deepika ❤