Why are you not happy?
From a very young age, we are taught to improve ourselves so that we can be competent enough and get a good job and live a happy life. How’s that working out for you?
Ever wondered no matter how much you have achieved in life ultimately it does not bring you happiness?
When I was in school I used to think that if I get straight A’s I would be happy and everyone will praise me and like me and that would bring me happiness.
During high school, I believed that if I get into a renowned University it would make me happy.
During my graduation, I thought if I could just get the perfect job and an attractive salary I would be happy.
Guess what, I was a straight-A student and got into a prestigious University. I was doing everything a person in their early 20’s is expected to do. I would read self-help books, listen to audiotapes and do everything I could to improve myself so that I would be able to live a “good” life.
Even after doing all these things, I was still not happy. I was stressed all the time. Life felt so hard. I couldn’t understand why wasn’t I happy and fulfilled yet.
Until I realized my thought patterns and beliefs were responsible for what I was going through.
From a very young age, we are taught what is a “good life”. We shape these beliefs and images around success, abundance, fulfillment, and much more.
- Work hard and only then will you achieve success
- You cannot make a living from your passion.
- You must always improve yourself or you will be left behind.
- You need to sacrifice in order to receive something.
- As a young person, you are supposed to work really hard to create a good future.
- You should not speak your mind if you want to be liked by others. You must learn to compromise.
- You must compel yourself to do it even if you don’t like it.
- You cannot be happy if you are not successful enough!
These are just some of the beliefs that we pick up as a child and it affects our lives and the choices that we make as an adult.
Your everyday choices
Most of us make the “right decisions” or the “wise choices” about our education, career, marriage, and almost every important subject in our life is controlled by “everyone is doing it so I must too or I will be left behind!” Fear is our biggest motivator. You cannot expect to be happy if you make important decisions in your life from a place of fear instead of joy and passion.
The questions you ask yourself
If you don’t ask a question you will never receive an answer. We don’t ask ourselves enough questions and when we do we often ask the wrong questions.
Here’s my question to you:
Have you ever asked yourself what makes you happy?
What is my passion? What brings me joy?
Do I believe that I am worthy and deserving of good things and good people?
What truly motivates me when making a decision? Other people’s opinions or my own opinion?
The questions you ask yourself are what shapes your decisions and choices.
I don't deserve to be happy
“I don’t deserve to be happy.”
This thought has controlled me for as long as I remember.
Unless I lose weight I don’t deserve to be happy!
How can I even think of being happy when I am don’t even have a job!
I can’t be happy I did not get the promotion again this year!
Relatable?
I don’t know why but all of us postpone our happiness and feel that we are not worthy of it if we are not achieving our desired goals. We think that we can be happy only when we achieve something. Why are we are so hard on ourselves?
I think this is the main reason why most of us are not happy. We search for answers to be happy while all along we are the ones who do not “allow” ourselves to be happy.
I hope this article helps you and makes you think about what “true happiness” looks like and means to YOU.
Also, I hope that all of us learn to love ourselves a little every day and stop being so hard on ourselves.
Much Love,
Deepika ❤
